Realization dawned upon me like ice cold water down
my spine. I was 30. Nothing more, nothing less—30. I couldn’t wrap my head
around it … Was I really THAT old? When did it chance upon me? I felt like a
mere 20-something till a night ago. Today was my birthday and I was supposed to
feel like Santa on prozac! But I don’t …. I feel weighed down; by my age.
The voices have been following me since I was 25. I
could hear them say, "How old are you?” “You’re getting there faster than
you think!” “Hahahhaaa, just two more years till you turn 30!” “You are aging,
you know ... You must get that night repair cream and under eye gel.” “Seriously
what color are you dying your hair?” “Wow! You're 30?” “What!!!! You don't have
children yet? You know your biological clock is ticking right?” “Happy 30th!!”
Yes! I am 30 and you could add a month or two to
it!
I took this long to write about my 30th because I
wanted to see and comprehend how it felt to turn 30. I wanted to know, if
overnight, I would get wrinkles, if my bones would get brittle, my teeth would
fall out or if my hair would all turn white?! But ... NOTHING HAPPENED! I woke
up as the same person I was a day ago ... when I was 29!
It's such a huge deal when you turn thirty or are
about to... even if you want to forget about it, people will constantly remind
you about your age and make you feel sorry that you're no longer going to be in
your 20's. It almost feels like an age where people go to curl up and die. The
polite masses will constantly ask you how you feel about turning thirty and I wonder
if they expect you to get offended by it. “I feel like crap” is probably what
they want to hear.
Friends will tease you, doctors will warn you,
parents will remind you, ads will throw the words "anti" and
"aging" at you and your body will show you that you are turning
thirty for real. You've definitely been thinking about your big 3-0 ever since
you turned 29.... it was way closer than you thought it was; it pretty much
pounced upon you, you think and you're already looking for ways to avoid it.
There's a cloud overhead making you blue and there's nothing you can do!! Oh
the horror of it all!!
The day went by and finally the sun went down on my
30th birthday but still no sign of "age". I was still looking for it
to chance up on me! Where was it? Was it hiding? Did I miss it? Did everyone
see it but me?
I was never so nervous about turning 30 to begin with … perhaps a little
but not paranoid for sure. I don’t feel it and I definitely don’t act it (most
tell me that). People believe that once you have completed three decades of
your life, you have exhausted yourself of all the fun and are now ready to grow
old or live a “matured” individual’s life. Really? Old? Who put that benchmark
there? Why 30? Why any age? If you feel it … you be it! How can anyone be the
judge of how you feel at any age? Age is just a number and that’s completely
true. If you let it take control over your life, it will destroy you. It will
be a constant reminder of who you are not anymore and how there are certain
things you can’t do. It will bog you down and you have already lost your
battle.
It is the prospect of turning 30 that is far worse than actually being
that age. Once you are 30, you realize that you’re there and that nothings
changed. You go on with your life as usual. I think I’ve been through
enough in my life to fear “30”. It’s a new age, with new possibilities and new
treasures to look forward to. My post 25’s was the best thing that ever happened
to me …. I’m sure my 30’s will ring in a lot more wonderful times that I can
probably put down as stories to tell the future generations! Today at 30, I’ve
never been surer of myself than I was a year ago and that is a comforting
feeling. I know I may not have achieved all that I had planned to by this age
and my train might have derailed a little while I was enjoying my 20’s but it’s
not all that bad and nothing that duct tape can’t solve!
Growing up is all about living and gaining various
experiences that defined moments in your life have to offer. It isn't about achieving
all that you thought you should’ve by that time, but enjoying the journey and
getting there! Make the next ten years count and be proud of who you are and
where you are instead of recoiling into your shell. Don’t fight that 30 year
old inside of you…embrace it!
It’s a new age …. Who says you can’t dance the tango; who
says you can’t swing in the park; who says you can’t eat ice cream out of a
box? Just celebrate this new life …. I am! Laugh, cry, embrace, be open to new
ideas and insights, love, follow your passion, dream, get inspired, cherish,
say what you mean and more importantly be yourself.
On my birthday, I happened to chance upon John Lennon’s
song, “Grow old with me … the best is yet to be”. Truer words have not been
spoken … I think I’ll do just that.
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